ThirtyOneWall

Because the fact stands that I have greatly neglected this blog, I highly doubt anyone still reads what I have to say. I am ok with that. If, however, there are those who have been on the edge of their seat for months waiting for the next post then you may notice there is a change. I have changed the site title to "thirtyonewall" from its original "bigtoechic" title.
there are a few reasons and here they are:

1. There is a level of maturity that seemed to me to be lacking in the previous title.


2. "ThirtyOne" represents Proverbs 31, the example and image of what a Godly woman looks like, the kind of woman I seek to glean from and model my life after.


3. "Wall" is a reference to the woman mentioned in Song of Soloman 8:8-9. The woman who is like a wall shall be fortified with a battlement of silver, referencing that she is not loose or vulnerable to manipulation (wolves in sheeps clothing) or danger because she is guarded and has set her boundries, holding firmly to them. yet another goal of mine, I pray the Lord would teach me, mold me, stretch me, grow me, and shape me more and more with each day to be the woman He has called me to be. That I may bring Him honor and glory and also that I may honor my future husband in all my days, even now.

These are the musings of a young woman learning more each day about Biblical Womanhood. I am unsure of what will continue to fill this blog, or how often I will post. I hope that, if there are readers, you would be able to learn from what I am learning and share on here your journey as well.

What is lost (and I Hope to Never Find!)

Here is an update:
Today, I weigh in at 178lbs. I have managed to maintain around this weight through the chaos and stress of finals and winter break. This is God's faithfulness and mercy and grace revealed. He alone is the reason I have been able to lose 82#'s.

{"lose," "lost," "am loosing," these terms are connected in relation to weight. I believe I do not intend to "find" these #'s again, so "shed," "remove," "rid self of," These are terms that seem to say it so much better. :) }

The Knots of Life

Here marks 6 days before my last regular semester of BCF starts. I am sitting in my RD suite, typing away in the empty time pondering. Pondering? Can I really call it "pondering" if there is not a set subject on my mind?
I feel as though I have mentally been in a cloud since the completion of the Fall Semester and now a new semester begins.
My thoughts are as a knot. Tangled and taught, and I am unsure of where to begin in order to successfully untangle the bunch. God has been working, moving, visibly active in my life over this time. In my desire to not neglect full comprehension of the lessons to learn I believe I have managed to build the knot even more. Day to day, I am taught more, shown more, love more... and I've yet to unpack what has been displayed before me to this point. In fear of doing a disservice to these lessons so they were not in vain, I have done just that. It is time to unpack, unravel, and delve into it all!
For tomorrow I will complete the welcoming of new girls to Napier, nine in total for this semester. And the remainder of Napier will be here by Sunday. The semester will begin, more days will pass, more lessons will daily be added to the knot and the opportunities to use what the Lord has been showing and teaching me will pass.
I cannot let this pass.
I look forward to reminising on each way God's faithfullness, soveriegnty, grace, love, mercy, justice, etc. have been displayed.

SC11

David Platt, Pastor of The Church at Brooke Hills in Birmingham, Alabama, hosts an event twice a year at his church called Secret Church. the purpose of the event began as a way to gather and pray for those believers who are persucuted around the world for thier belief in the Gospel and in Jesus Christ. It was and is also a means by which time is set aside specifically to delve into Scripture on various topics for a set, intentional period of time. the material that is taught in these sessions is then translated into various languages and used to equip believers around the world.
Last night, the 11th Secret Church meeting was held. It was simulcasted to include over 48,000 people, spanning 6 continents and also in 42 of our 50 states here in America. in a very real sense, we were gathered together with our persecuted brothers and sisters in Christ as some of the locations experienceing the simulcast were in areas where, had they been discovered to be participating it could be dangerous for them.

I have had the opportunity to participate in the live simulcast last night with the association that the church i attend is a part of. the topic title was "Marriage, Family, Sex and the Gospel."
Platt took us through scripture for 6 hours (my kind of Friday night!!) seeing what scripture, and says about all the facets of these topics.

The Questions of the night were:

1. What does the Bible say about family?



2. What does the Bible say about marriage?



3. What does the Bible say about sex and sexuality?



4. How do all of these relate to the gospel?



5. How do all of these relate to the Greate Commission?

just to list some of what was discussed, check this out:
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God's Design:
1. The Gospel and Sexuality
2. The Gospel and Marriage
3. The Gospel and Parenting
4. The Gospel and the Orphans
5. The Gospel and Singleness
6. The Gosepl and the Widow

Man's Distortion:
1. The Gospel and Divorce
2. The Gospel and Homosexuality
3. The Gospel and Abortion
4. The Gospel and Polygamy
5. The Gospel and Pornography

Special Issues:
1. Sexual Distinction in the Church
2. Sexual Sin in the Church
3. Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage
---------------------------------------------------

To say the least, it was a blessed time. As a single woman, the points in the Gospel and Singleness section were great to ponder, be challenged by and see how to glorify the Lord Biblically in my singleness. It was encouraging and also, to be honest, parts were hard to hear because i do have a desire to be a wife and have children and raise them to fear and love the Lord. There were 2 things i really had jump at me from this section:
1. Singlness and Marriage are both gifts. during singleness, i need to recognize this beautiful gift from the Lord and not flounder it.
2. "Contentment is deep trust in the sovereignty of God and deep enjoyment of the grace of God."

{These are two areas i have had mulling and wrestling back and forth with this semester as i found myself "distracted" in this particular area. I had/have begun to see my attitude toward being content in my singleness a difficult battle. I had not been really struggling with contentment much prior to this because, well, frankly there were no prospects. easy to be unaffected when theres nothing tempting around. For whatever reason, that changed this semester. an attractive, God-fearing man is a fierce combination). It is prudent for me to cling to the Cross now more then ever, not letting this distraction keep me from serving the Lord and living for the Lord in attitude, word and deed. should something progress from this, that is not my concern. at this time, i am to be solely concerened with seeking and obtaining a "deep trust in the soveriegnty of God and deep enjoyment of the grace of God." Pray for me in this. Pray that I can obtain this deep trust and deep enjoyment.}

I learned valuable truths in each section and was reminded of the Grace of God and how His hand has been on my life to this point and will continue to be in the future. In each section, truth was revealed of God's perspective on my role as a woman in relation to Christ, in relation to my brothers in Christ, to my future husband, as a mother one day, in how live now.
I challenge you to check out the link to resources of Secret Church. this link will take you to the secret churchs of the past which are available in audio and video and also have PDF files of the study guides both with the blanks filled in and also with the blanks empty. Last night's wont have the audio or video available online for another 2-3 weeks, but the study guide is up and is well worth being checked out.

Platt always begins one of these sessions explaining that it is "not for the faint of heart." His purpose is to pour the truth into you like a fire hose and then you can soak in it all. Im still processing what was discussed last night!

The Association that the church i attend down here is a part of is doing something awesome with these. They have begun back at the first Secret Church recording and have met together twice already with the same set up as if it were live, but we gather together to learn. We have done "The Survey of the Old Testament" (which was over the summer and i missed that one...) and "The Survey of the New Testament"> which was phenominal! Next up is "How to Study the Bible" then "Who Is God?" and you can see the rest of them by going here.

March to October: What happened?

My blog hiatus may have come to an end...

Heres an update:
This semester is jam packed and marks the beginning of my time in Graceville concluding. I am a couple credits shy of being a able to declare Senior Status. However, Spring 2012 is looking like it will be my last semester in Graceville as I will be finishing all of my classes and will only have Student Teaching standing between me and my College Diploma.

The Lord is my strength and sustains me as I try to make it through the jam packed semester. 18 hours was not the brightest idea, but you do what you've got to do :)

There is so much. Know that the Lord is teaching teaching me more and more with each day. There have been new and exciting challenges daily and its all too crazy to try and explain in a breath right now.

Here is an update for the Health Quest: I am 178lbs today. That means that from my heaviest, this is an 82lb loss. It is 100% because of the Lord! Christ is the reason that i have hope, Christ is the reason I began this process. Jesus Christ is the reason i have accomplished anything or ever accomplish anything. He is my Rock, I hope and pray you can say the same. I hope and pray that you realize and experience His grace daily. He has also strengthened me to be able to run 3.2miles without stopping (thats right! a 5K!!).

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement, all who read this or have read this.
sometime ill have a break down of whats recent.

OLD School

I just can't shake this idea, this possibility. And now, there may be an opportunity to partake in a smidgen of this really awesome program. I heard about it my first semester here when the booth was displayed at a Preview Day for our school. I just passed it by that day, who was i kidding! An adventure like that was out of the question. The semesters passed, they returned with their booth each semester. always catching my attention. I always silenced the idea before it had the chance to enter my mind.
Why did I do that?
Then, one day, i got a message from a friend who went to school with the guy who stood behind that booth every semester. He said for me to go talk to him, to say hello from another country to his old school buddy. BAM! It was in my face again. Couldn't ignore it anymore.
Kayaking down a river with another friend, talking about our passion for the outdoors and pondering about the future, the subject came up once again. no escape.(and i dont want an escape now, i dont want to ignore it anymore) BUT im here. im at school. im becoming a teacher. where would this fit in? Maybe that is not for me to know now, I need help. AM I CRAZY?
Please join me in praying for wisdom. I don't want to just do this program for the awesome activities available, I want to meet with the Lord where my heart always resides...in the outdoors.
I feel the PULL as i hear the rain beating down outside, as i walk down the road with the country side surrounding me, rich in color and texture; as i drift down a river encompased by peace and true beauty, in the sight of the sky that stretches above me full of glistening dots and magical patterns.
Why is this passion ignited with in me when im called to be a teacher? How will these two meet? both so deep, so natural in instinct. What does it mean?
I just, i need prayer for wisdom. I don't want to make a selfish judgement call. but i really would like to take part in this. It would be great to experience it for a semester, but thats not feesable right now. A week, however, just might be ok.

Its MARCH!!!

Wow! Time has FLOWN by!
slightly too quickly...
I have alot to update on, but most recently, i will update you on my yesterday!
I have been itching to hike or kayak or really just get outside and enjoy the outdoors! its how I'm rejuvenated by the Lord to continue to trek along. seeing as the good trails are about an hour or more away, i had to get creative!
Something I have wanted to do since coming to school here is walk out to the state line and back. its a little less than 8 miles total (there and back) and yesterday was GORGEOUS!!! so, i convinced a friend to join me and we set out on our adventure. Such a beautiful area to walk in, we were on a main road, but its out in the country so you could still feel like you were in nature with wide expanses of land on either side stretching out as far as our eyes could see!
In total, we were gone for 2 hours. we had stopped a couple seconds here and there to take pics, but for the most part, we had set a rather nice pace, definitely not a leisurely stride. It was gorgeous, I'm so glad i had the opportunity to do it.

Then, when the night came, a group of friends and i gathered to celebrate with another friend of ours who recently passed the test and got his American Citizenship. after having some treats (Apple Pie, and All-American classic) we decided to go to the soccer field and play a quick game of soccer...in the dark (well, there was one or two flood lights on near the field)
Twas an interesting time running around trying to steal the ball from guys who are alot quicker then I am, also, it was dark...if the ball was not white, we would have been in trouble. I was brilliant and had my hand out and in a fist at some point and the ball when full force into my hand...OUCH! its not broken, but it is sore when i try to move it too much, though i am typing just the same as before, its just bruised. And then, two of my friends, Liz and Ben, collided and Liz busted her ankle. Ben later collided (he was playing barefoot...) with our friend Philip and messed up his (Ben's) foot.
so, with three injuries and some extreme encouragement from the sidelines, we decided to play Apples to Apples Bible Edition: (um, this game is interesting...it can get pretty...heretical. we didnt play it for long.
I closed out my friday evening with a movie, Dispicable Me, which i watched with my friend, Jessica. cute little movie.
not too soon after the movie i was out cold on my couch (11:30pm, thats early for me).
Today, i feel great and im really lookin forward to hiking Old Rag when i come home at the end of the month!