I had to get a new insurance company today because good ole AIC that i have only had for about a month and a half canceled me. I had explained that i would be in florida for school and that my car would be with me. it wasnt until i had to call them to pay my monthy bill that they decided to tell me they were dropping me because my car wasnt garaged in Virginia.(and they knew that when i signed on with them. Im Slightly REALLY TICKED RIGHT NOW ABOUT THAT!! BUTTT!!!! GOD IS GOOD! i switched to AllState. and it is going to be about $30 a month cheaper (ie, i was having to pay $100, now i only pay $70) which is awesome. i wish i had gone with them sooner but at the time, AIC was the cheapest. and AIC is really rude.
But since i had to switch to a new company i had to pay the upfront fee AGAIN!
So now i feel like i am on the verge of a Heart Attack. My checkbook scares the crap out of me. and i dont like this whole growing up thing at this moment. But God is Good.
and this will all work out. and life will return to normal.
Good news i guess is that i was finally able to cry for the first time in like 3-4 months today. crazy! explanation...i dont have one.

interesting weekend

Friday, i dont remember what i did...oh wait. we celebrated my friend Leah's bday with everyone. and watched Pride and Prejudice...which by the way, three guys watched it with us...(kinda sorta cause thier Girlfriends were watching it, and along with the other guy they just didnt have anything to do)
Satuday, My friend Kelsey came to visit! THANK YOU!!! it was such a refreshing day to just be able to chat and hang out and do silly stuff such as walk on a railroad track or take pics at a park. i was so thrilled for this super spontanious day!
then it was Napier Night, we got all dressed up and went out to dinner, then some of us met up with the guys for a movie. wanted to watch Madea Goes to Jail, but alas, it was COMPLETELY sold out.... so we saw Taken. which was AMAZING! Intense, action, good plot, story of what really could happen so it kinda shocks you.
Sunday, which is today, well im a retard, and over slept...thus i attended Bedside Baptist. thus making me a Heathen...
but i did go to church tonight. it was good.
then since today is Leah's OFFICIAL birthday, our core group of girls (Leah, Ashton, Liz and I...April was missing...super sad day) took her to Cancun's...BEST MEXICAN FOOD EVER!!!
it was great, when they restraunt ppl sang to her, they put a sombraro on her head and shoved whipped cream into her face!
then we came back here just in time for me to join the Math study session with some friends for our test tomorrow that we will try to have pushed to wednesday because we are clearly not ready to take a test. and im kinda stressing bout the possiblity of taking the test cause i dont think im ready.
well that is my weekend. it was great. it was fun. it was too short.
class and another week of life in Graceville begins tomorow, and shall end with me going to Tallahassee after work Friday to meet up with Global ppl for a Momentum.

Oh, and for those of you who would value this information, Global Youth Ministries has recently purchased the top half of the Mountain (Lodge, Auditorium, Swimming pool, Hotel stuff.)
this is a big deal, they have been trying to get this done for the last like 3-4years. And God has provided for it to happen now.
So awesome!

1 Corinthians 9:27

The speaker in chapel today spoke on this scripture. Subject, our Credibility:
"But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."
These were his four points
1. Personal Discipline- "the hardest person to lead is yourself"
2. Purposeful Subjection- "Control your mind, mouth, emotions and actions"
3. Platform Awareness- "Your life speaks on who you are away from others, on your true platform"
4. Perseptive Reality- "We cannot trust our flesh", "Be careful of your thoughts because they become your words, your words become your deeds, your deeds become your credibility"

from it all i have determined that lately my credibility is crap. hear me out. that point #2 is killer! Control your yourself! HA! it just reverts me back to #1 where i realize how true the statement "the hardest person to lead is yourself" is.
THINK ABOUT IT! you can sit their and be annoyed with others actions and words and you can try to change or correct them but when it comes to yourself you excuse yourself (kinda talking to my self here....alot)
Someone once told me that the qualities that annoy you most in others could possibly be qualities you possess that annoy you about yourself that are magnified.

lately i will fully admit, that my credibility, i feel, has been sent to crap. ive been short with people. Ive thought and said things negatively of others. i have not displayed the attitude i should. I have not displayed the character that i would like people to relate with me.
BASICALLY, i have been a Hypocrite.
I just said it. Im a hypocrite.
THAT IS NOT COOL! this situation must be fixed. oh but there is that #1 again. its hardest to disipline self. I am just me. i alone can do nothing. Im weak and need The Lord.
That is why i need you Lord, i need you to convict me. I need you to break me of who i am and have become. I need you to be at my center. and if you arent, I need to know what is in the way.
Lord, my love, my hope, my joy, my peace, my strength. its only found in you. I need you to be my all.

Sundays.

im in a rut, sorta. i need to figure out my place at the church i am attending. Ive been helping out on sunday nights with the kids but i dont really feel like i know what to do with them. or that im really helping at all.
I love the people at church, they are all sweet and the preaching is awesome and challenging. i just dont know. i dont fully understand why im there.

My V-Day 2009

Its crazy how things in life connect.

Today i got the chance to go visit some friends that i havent seen in a while! West and Hannah Steiner. Their mom, who is like my second mom, and known by many of you as Ms. Kim, was in town with Ethan visiting West, Hannah and thier daughter Lilly this week to celebrate Lilly's first birthday. They had a party for her today and i got the opportunity to go and spend the day with them.

West's sister, Madison is one of my best friends. West and Hannah have a pretty cool story, they met at church camp back in 2002(Global!!) Hannah was from florida, and West and his family had just moved to Stafford the year or so before. They got married about 2 1/2 years ago and west moved down to Florida. I hadnt seen either of them since thier wedding and didnt realize that they lived so close to Graceville. They live in Crestview, its west of here about an hour or so.

The world is small, im realizing this more and more every day.

But Lilly is so CUTE! and she is the spittin image of Hannah, she had fun tearing of her cake and everyone around her enjoyed watching her. Including West, who had a mini food fight with her.

Liberated!

HEHEH!!! ITS ALL GONE!!!!!

Monday, Monday

the bible study went well, i only went off on two minor bunny trails...
thank you for praying for that. I did it on forgiveness/harboring bitterness...hehe thats a subject that God has definitely been teaching me about for YEARS!

my weekend's for a while seem to look crazy. but i love it! i cant wait for a chance to step away from gville for a day! Love it, but a breather is still good to have every once in a while.

with the lack of a Bank of America any closer to me then Tallahassee i decided it was time to open an account at Wachovia. so today, after chapel(which was amazing by the way) i headed to Chipley and opened a checking and savings account.
heres a question. how much of your paychecks should you but towards savings and towards checking.
is it too crazy to say 10% to God, 40% to checking, 40% to savings...? what do you suggest?
when it comes to making healthy quick meals for one person, what should i do? processed food scares me(ie, easy mac or frozen dinners) are frozen dinners and canned food bad for you? being organic is expensive, especially for a college student, but i prefer the freshness over the clog your arteries with sodium and greese and MSG anyday....but should i suck it up and deal with it for now...?
i made speghetti sause and froze what was left, i guess that could work, but the ingredients to make it were expensive....
I need recipees ladies!!! any good ones, OH MY GOODNESS!! TRACEE!! ! WHAT IS YOUR MAC AND CHEESE RECIPEE!!! that janx was SOOOOOOOO good!!!!

6 words to close,
Arizona Pomegranate Green Tea is amazing!!

Lil Prayer Request

On monday (the 9th) i will be leading a bible study with my dorm on Forgiveness/sharing my experience with bitterness and forgiveness and it is a tuffy for me. But i think it is what the Lord wants me to talk about. I want it to kinda hit home the need to pray for our parents or for anyone that we feel wrongs us on a normal basis. and how we are too continually show them Christ love even when its hard. Im sitting here thinking about it and kinda feeling overwelmed because its a lesson that in many ways, im still learning. But God's will, He knows what up.
If you would do a lil interceding with the Lord on my behalf. Please pray that it would be God speaking through me and that i prepare for this and it would all go well.
i could just be being over dramatic with my thoughts here, i need to just sit and think it all through...tomorrow after class i will...
Thanks friends! miss you all!

wonderful's

This is an excerpt from a pamphlet on Child Evangelism by Grace Community Church.
"Setting a Consistent Example of Godliness
Evangelizing children consists not simply of
verbalizing the gospel with one’s mouth, but
also of exemplifying it in one’s life. As parents
explain the truths of God’s Word, children have
the unique opportunity to observe their lives up
close and to see whether they seriously believe
what they are teaching. When parents are
faithful not only to proclaim, but also to live out
the gospel, the impact is profound.
Because marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship
with the church (Eph. 5:22–33), the
relationship between the parents as husband
and wife is particularly significant. In fact, aside
from the parents’ fundamental commitment to
Christ, the single most important foundation for
successful parenting is a healthy, Christcentered
marriage. Setting a consistent example
of godliness is indispensable."

I had to read the pamphlet for my Personal Evangelism class. Its a really interesting read and id be glad to send you the rest but this part stuck out to me the most.
I love my parents, and God has used them to teach me alot. sadly though, most of what i have learned of marriage from them is how NOT to do things. Im so glad that i read this today. i have always wanted to find a way to say thank you to all of the wonderful married couples at church who have really meant alot to me. You have been my spiritual parents wether you knew it or not. Your example has taught me so much of how a God-Centered relationship looks and i thank God for letting me share in your lives. For a REALLY REALLY long time, i never wanted to get married. never dreamed about the possibility, didnt want the hastle, didnt want to end up like my parents. But I believe that God placed each of you in my life to show me that marriage is not of the devil. that it can be a beautiful thing when Christ is at the center of it. There are so many to name, i would feel horrible to miss one.
But, Colby and Annie, if i havent said it to you already, know that im talking to you two in this, like majorly!
Jason and Tracee, um hello! you two are amazing and i love you! Thank you for being this Godly example in my life. There is way too much to be said to you in this short space. (ahh! tears, NOO!!)
Papa Marks and Mom! im pretty sure that i cant type anything to you right now cause im crying thinking of you (good tears) and how you have touched my life. Thanks for adopting me!
My amazing pillar spiritual parents, which yall are young, so i feel like your my brothers and sisters showing me this example. Clint and Jennifer, Jonathan and Jennifer (i alway chuckle to myself when i think of the two awesome Jennifers with the southern accents who live in NORTHERN VA and are best friends... God is fun!), theres too many to name! i love you all!
PBJ and Cindy, im scarred for life from ski retreat like three years ago PBJ, but i love you both, Im so glad God brought you to SBC!

That is my tribute to you, love you all. You have always believed in me. You have always showed me who Christ is in your life through the way you live and interact with your kids, your spouse, and everyone else. You have meant more to me then you will ever know. You are amazing and again, tears, cant handle it... good night.