Awakening

"Oh my soul, wait on The Lord."

Discontentment wiggles its way in my heart with each thought not surrendered to my Jesus. It's likely to choke my life of joy and it's so hard to breathe. 

I just woke in a panic. My mind was racing in a dream and the dream became so real, I woke. 

Today is a gift, not a curse. Today is filled with opportunity to confess my discontent thoughts, repent of this desire to control my life and plan my own days. Today is full of opportunity to live in this humbleness before The Lord and before man. I don't see all that God is doing in my life. There's alot of covert operative work that none of us can see, but His word promises that all of these things are being worked for our good and his ultimate Glory--that our lives would be shaped and molded to be more like Christ. 

I believe this. I believe God has plans for my days on earth. I believe He does see and know the deepest desires and dreams of my heart. And I believe He will continue to work in my heart and life, providing for my needs & teaching me to trust His plan. He will weed out the things that my heart tries to find satisfaction in. He will strip my life of all that keeps me from treasuring Him. He will do this because He loves me. 

So when I fumble through the days, the nights that are sometimes even more difficult, I'll remind myself of what His word says. 

"But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world." 1 Timothy 6:6-7

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. 

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:5-8

"The fear of the LORD leads to life;  then one rests content, untouched by trouble." Proverbs 19:23

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,

by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge,

and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness,

and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.

For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.

Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.

For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:3-11

46 Hours to Go

I go back and forth in my mind. Hard to believe in 2 days I'll be flying over the Atlantic, past Côte d'Ivoire and the Mediterranean Sea, land in the Middle East and then over to South Asia the following day. I know it's only for 17 days, and that's like a blink in the grand scheme of time...but I'm in awe. His thoughts, His plans...so much better! 

Pray for our team. Pray for our focus. Pray the Gospel is central to every aspect  of the trip...in how we interact with one another, in how me react to situations that may arise, in our speech, our thoughts, in just everything! 

The overlooked moments

Karen was a 15 year old girl who heard the gospel for the first time the week we visited her village in the Andes. And she wanted to learn more, she wanted a copy of God's word that she could share with her friend, so they could learn together. 

God provided a copy for her that week, though we didnt have one to give from our team. I'll never forget her hunger for the word. And I'll never forget what God taught me on those 5minutes that lingered for eternity- that spsn of time betweeb when we didnt have a Bible to give her and when The Lord provided. 

His word was not a treasure to me. I had infinite access to multiple translations, and taken it for granted that not only was the Bible at my fingertips back home, but it was also in my heart-language! I could pick it up and read it and understand it. 

For hundreds of people groups, that is not the case. Their heart language may not have a Bible translated--or even more then that, their language may not even have a written code for a Bible to be translated in. 

And, similar to Karen, there are over 6,000 people groups worldwide who have never heard the gospel, never heard the salvific message of Christ. And they will live their whole lives & eventually die without ever having the opportunity to hear the name of Jesus and his gospel. 

Will you pray for translators and pray for these people groups to hear and receive the gospel. Will you adopt a people group to pray for and adopt. as a family of church body, & even send teams, or go youself, to engage the people with the gospel?? 

And will you pray that you and I would be obedient to share the gospel with anyone we encounter this week? Right in the midst of our everyday-mundane moments, God has prepared the way for us to share His truth with someone. Ask him to show you His heart in your every moment. 

Tuesday is 3 Weeks Away

I was one of those adventurers who claimed their "adventures" and still pretty much kept to the safest and most familiar. South Asia never quite made it to my list of ideal destinations. Not for lack of seeing beautiful pictures or hearing captivating stories. Friends served over there. Their blogs were filled with well written pieces of how God was at work in their midst. Still, somehow the map I looked at excluded South Asia. Too many stories of real suffering and too much fear...not enough love. Let's be real. There was NO love.
Fascination with cultural differences does not equate to real, authentic GOSPEL LOVE. Fascination with another culture is not enough to thrust me out of my comfort zone into places with out control and with out "safety."

Gospel Love knows the grace of salvific love found in CHRIST and out of that love is compelled to see that all would know Christ no matter the personal cost for a two-fold purpose: 1. for Christ to be exalted and praised from every tribe tongue and nation. and 2. because we know the love we've received, we should hope that all would know that same love.

I don't stand alone in this. I'm not the only Christian in the world...in America...in Northern Virginia...who has chosen safe routes and made excuses for not even sharing the gospel with my neighbors.

The up-to-date news has come about once a month since October and who (but God) knew reading some emails would come to this. This change in heart, this shift of focus... To sitting 3 weeks away from boarding a plane to meet a world 9hours & 45minutes in the future. To take a minuscule part, with 3 others from my home church, in God's BIG PICTURE purpose of seeing no place left. No place left where the gospel has not been heard, no place left where the people have not had even the opportunity to have access to the gospel.

God knew. He knew, and has a plan to reform each of our minds. That what is important to His heart would be important to ours. His gospel proclaimed. His name the fame of every tribe, tongue, and nation. 

  



 

South Asia Update 1

As I mentioned in the previous post, there is a team from Pillar heading to South Asia this Fall! There are 3 of us who will be leaving VA on September 16, and returning October 2.

I have been so blessed and encouraged this week by the comments and support of family and friends as many have ordered the customizable journals and HUGE deal, in just 4 days after posting the first word on this trip and the needs, God provided the funds for the plane ticket through the generosity of a sweet, sweet family :) 

Thank you so very much, we are booking  the tickets on Monday- which makes this REAL!! Wow!!

Praise The Lord for:

1. Providing the ticket funds. 

2. The encouragement/support and sacrificial giving of his Children! 

Please pray for: 

1. The team God is sending. 

2. The $ for in-country expenses as well as for ministry aid for our missionary contact. 

3.The $ for our other team members as they fund raise out work and save. 

4. That I would lean into Christ more and more, trusting Him to provide and guide.

5. Another female to join the team. 

Here is how you can help: 

1. Pre-hire me To babysit, housesit, clean, walk your dog, paint a fence, anytime during the month August. 

2. Sponsor a day's expenses for the trip: $50 covers lodging, food, & in city travel for one day.  (We will be in country 13 days)

3. Sponsor the cost of the visa: $60 

4. Sponsor an interpreter for a day: ($10 per day, 13 days)

 

All donations are tax-deductible.

You can donate online at www.pillardumfries.com/support click on the mission fund button.

Or mail a check memo-ed "Castle South Asia Mission Trip" to 

Pillar Church

PO Box 622

Dumfries Va 22026

I will update the progress of support as funds come in.

Total funds raised as of Today: $1580 

South Asia Bound

Well, family and friends...not really sure anyone knows this blog exists, but as I begin this next endeavor, I thought I would blog about each step along the way. 

A public documentation of how The Lord provides, to encourage you the reader, and me the one who often needs to be reminded to trust God as He directs my steps...(I can be quite stubborn). 

In September, Lord willing, I will head to South Asia with a team from Pillar to work alongside a friend serving there. Helping to train and disciple new believers. 

We will be there from September 16-October 2. 

Please pray for: 

1. The team God is sending. 

2. The $ for travel as well as for ministry aid for our missionary contact. 

3. That I would lean into Christ more and more, trusting Him to provide and guide.

4. Another female to join the team. 

Here is how you can help: 

1. Pre-hire me To babysit, housesit, clean, walk your dog, paint a fence, anytime during the month Of August. (Pay before hand and secure a date, this will help with purchase of plane ticket- ~$1200-$1400; a $500 deposit is needed at this time). 

2. Sponsor a day's expenses for the trip: $50 covers lodging, food, & in city travel for one day.  (We will be in country 13 days)

3. Sponsor the cost of the visa: $60

4. Sponsor an interpreter for a day: ($10 per day, 13 days)

 

All donations are tax-deductible.

You can donate online at www.pillardumfries.com/support click on the mission fund button.

Or mail a check memo-ed "Castle Southeast Asia Mission Trip" to 

Pillar Church

PO Box 622

Dumfries Va 22026

I will update the progress of support as funds come in.

 As of today: $80

I wonder, who can relate?

Words from this Journey

September 1, 2013 1:50pm

I wonder who can relate? 

I can vaguely remember the scenario which envoked this writing. And we did eventually talk, but most of the healing came from The Lord working conviction of pride, repentance & forgiveness in my heart and enabling me to love out of His grace and not my own strength. Perhaps someone else could relate and choose to trust God heal and restore all brokenness through repentance & crying out to Jesus. 

------------------------------

Like a gaping wound Is my heart today. Sin exposed for what it is. my flesh and the Spirit within fight. 

I cry out Your name but I feel so vain. 

Useless for Your glory.

 Frustrated by the fight. 

I can't see clearly, 

am I wrong or am I right?

God please show me!! 

Show me Your truth. 

Show me who You are. 

Draw me closer to you.

I know you are near, not at all far. 

----------------------------------

Small talk is painful. 

Can we please just dive in? 

Can we skip the formalities and understand, 

understand that you and I you and I are friends. 

No, family. 

family tied closer than that of blood,

 we are family of soul. 

the kind that lasts and is not momentary as these days of earth pass. 

can we understand that Time is fleeting, 

a vapor in the wind 

and all that really matters is who's within. 

This talk of weather and cleaning and the mundane, 

it wretches my soul and just leaves me feeling lame.

 Please, o please! 

Can we talk of Jesus and rejoice together in His name?

Yet I know the wall 

and I see the shame 

that even keeps me from ending this game. 

It's pride. it's sin. 

Jesus, forgive me. 

I confess my sin of pride and flesh

I confess I've chosen to defame Your name as I disobediently refused to be humbled.

Help me, Lord. 

Needy and weary I come to you. 

I choose now to forgive and seek restoration

To love and have a tenderized heart. 

But not in strength of my own hands, 

Only, dear Lord, by your grace and the power of Your Name.

Am I able? Will I fail?

Am I able? Will I fail? 

February 11, 2014

Worry and fear will cripple you.  An old lesson that i clearly continue to face, and desperately pray I will be able to respond differently toward with each new encounter 

It was a daunting fear mingled with excitement that day in the summer of '07. In a different country and faced by the prospect of hiking to the summit of a mountain, my mind raced. thrilled to embark on an adventure, in another country, in nature, at the youthfully fresh age of 18. yet thoughts of fear threatened to steal my gaze from the thrill, dwelling instead on the task with dread. not quite at my heaviest at that point, because over that summer i had lost at least 15lbs, i was still obese and woefully out of shape. Especially compared to my team, which consisted of 5 athletes, and myself. And there I was, at a cross roads of making the decision to be locked into being controlled by fear, or facing the challenge and pressing forward.  How would I know my limits unless I tried? Who by simply staring at a mountain actually succeeded in reaching the summit? 

It's the same with facing fears.

Is the Lord calling you to do something you feel completely inadequate for? Do you fear failure? 

Facing your fears knowing Who, namely the Lord,is leading you will surely end in victory. He will not call us to a task that He will not provide strength and grace to accomplish. We are called to walk by faith and trust Him for the results. 

"Self, Take it one step at a time. One decision at a time. Just one moment at a time. 

Repent of your worry and fear, humbly acknowledge that He is in control and that you need Him, then simply press on in obedience with the next task. Worry not about what others my think or say, be only concerned with the opinion of God Almighty. He is Worthy. 

Sincerely, 

The burnt dreamer crying out for healing