I wonder, who can relate?

Words from this Journey

September 1, 2013 1:50pm

I wonder who can relate? 

I can vaguely remember the scenario which envoked this writing. And we did eventually talk, but most of the healing came from The Lord working conviction of pride, repentance & forgiveness in my heart and enabling me to love out of His grace and not my own strength. Perhaps someone else could relate and choose to trust God heal and restore all brokenness through repentance & crying out to Jesus. 

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Like a gaping wound Is my heart today. Sin exposed for what it is. my flesh and the Spirit within fight. 

I cry out Your name but I feel so vain. 

Useless for Your glory.

 Frustrated by the fight. 

I can't see clearly, 

am I wrong or am I right?

God please show me!! 

Show me Your truth. 

Show me who You are. 

Draw me closer to you.

I know you are near, not at all far. 

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Small talk is painful. 

Can we please just dive in? 

Can we skip the formalities and understand, 

understand that you and I you and I are friends. 

No, family. 

family tied closer than that of blood,

 we are family of soul. 

the kind that lasts and is not momentary as these days of earth pass. 

can we understand that Time is fleeting, 

a vapor in the wind 

and all that really matters is who's within. 

This talk of weather and cleaning and the mundane, 

it wretches my soul and just leaves me feeling lame.

 Please, o please! 

Can we talk of Jesus and rejoice together in His name?

Yet I know the wall 

and I see the shame 

that even keeps me from ending this game. 

It's pride. it's sin. 

Jesus, forgive me. 

I confess my sin of pride and flesh

I confess I've chosen to defame Your name as I disobediently refused to be humbled.

Help me, Lord. 

Needy and weary I come to you. 

I choose now to forgive and seek restoration

To love and have a tenderized heart. 

But not in strength of my own hands, 

Only, dear Lord, by your grace and the power of Your Name.

Am I able? Will I fail?

Am I able? Will I fail? 

February 11, 2014

Worry and fear will cripple you.  An old lesson that i clearly continue to face, and desperately pray I will be able to respond differently toward with each new encounter 

It was a daunting fear mingled with excitement that day in the summer of '07. In a different country and faced by the prospect of hiking to the summit of a mountain, my mind raced. thrilled to embark on an adventure, in another country, in nature, at the youthfully fresh age of 18. yet thoughts of fear threatened to steal my gaze from the thrill, dwelling instead on the task with dread. not quite at my heaviest at that point, because over that summer i had lost at least 15lbs, i was still obese and woefully out of shape. Especially compared to my team, which consisted of 5 athletes, and myself. And there I was, at a cross roads of making the decision to be locked into being controlled by fear, or facing the challenge and pressing forward.  How would I know my limits unless I tried? Who by simply staring at a mountain actually succeeded in reaching the summit? 

It's the same with facing fears.

Is the Lord calling you to do something you feel completely inadequate for? Do you fear failure? 

Facing your fears knowing Who, namely the Lord,is leading you will surely end in victory. He will not call us to a task that He will not provide strength and grace to accomplish. We are called to walk by faith and trust Him for the results. 

"Self, Take it one step at a time. One decision at a time. Just one moment at a time. 

Repent of your worry and fear, humbly acknowledge that He is in control and that you need Him, then simply press on in obedience with the next task. Worry not about what others my think or say, be only concerned with the opinion of God Almighty. He is Worthy. 

Sincerely, 

The burnt dreamer crying out for healing