Day 26

time to catch up on the blogs....
this i was Thursday: around 3:30pm i hadnt done my workout for the day yet, and i was dreading it. it had come to the point where i just wasnt really sure if i was doing anything correctly...so i spontaneously called a physical trainer in Dothan at Golds Gym. When i met with him, we went over goals i have and i shared with him about my quest for health, and the recent weeks with Biggest Loser. He got really confused when i said that in 4 years i have lost 50 lbs and quickly informed me that though it is a process, it should not be that long of a process ever and said in 12 months he could help me lose all the weight i needed to. He had me do a work out just to show him where my strengths and weaknesses are.
Now in the Work Out DVD's you do ALOT of squats, lunges, and variations of the two. i was kinda disheartened to find out that my form was completely wrong for the squats and slightly wrong for the lunges(at least the backward ones...front lunges he said i was doing perfectly!)
and the work out he had me do, there wasnt much too it but it felt more effective then any session on the biggest loser dvd's. i guess it could be because i am not monitored or challenged by the dvd's, they can't see me to correct my form or push me to my limit and left alone, i guess i tend to ease on myself and not push as hard as i could.

A combination of exhaustion and frustration, i spent the majority of that night feeling defeated to know that in 4 weeks i have not really accomplished as much as i thought. I dont know if going to the PT was mistake, in some ways it was good. in someways not so good. Im having to filter through all we discussed to hold onto what is worth holding onto.
It was a humbling experience, i felt like he had to correct EVERYTHING i was doing. but I am going to take from this what i need to. A. dont use momentum, focus and use the muscles needed. b. Build muscle, it will burn more throughout the day and night and always instead of just sitting there. c. i can do this, i need to keep telling myself to keep going.
I found out that every exercise is a core excercise because you have to have a strong core throughout the entire thing inorder to stabalize and support your back and maintain balance.
If i am going to do this whole losing weight thing, i want to do it correctly. with no chase for relapse, i want to build muscle and not cause harm to my joints.
I am unsure if i will be able to do the 5K on the 29th, the PT said i still have too much weight on me still and it could harm my knees and hips and other joints. But i still want to keep doing the light jog that i do around the school. just walking is boring and not challenging...and the jog, its like an instant gratification or notification to me that ive just done something!
There are a couple students here that i know work out in the gym enough to know for sure what is proper form and such so i am going to pray about asking for thier help, because PT's are rather expensive and its a 45min drive to them. not good with gas as expensive as it is right now.