not always peachy at first

just a quick five minute post that will need backup stories and such later. i wont lie, last week's camp which started on saturday and ended wednesday seemed like the most difficult week all summer. i was drained. during the worship services i just felt this heaviness on me weighing me down. i couldnt focus and i felt like i was beeing fake as i was singing. what i think my head was wanting to be praise to God felt like nothing more the words in a song. my heart was missing from the picture. i couldnt take it anymore on sunday night and just closed my mouth and listened to what was around me. trying to focus on clearing my head and makeing sure i was able to push the buttons at the right time was a really difficult thing that night. (oh yeah for those who dont know, my core job on staff this year is powerpoint, i know all of you from the youth group must be laughing at that, knowing how ADD i was during youth group...hehe) any who. but God was working on my heart, and while i did eat the FUNK AGAIN i still love the kids in my group, and God was teaching me and stretching me, but i know now it was to prepare me for the week im in now. so we ended that week on wednesday morning and started the next camp (our biggest all summer, 625 ppl) that night. My team has 29 ppl in it. and it was a difficult first night. for the first time out of all the teams ive had, this team made me cry. they were cruel. there are two boys that are the ringleaders of the evilness, somehow it had gotten out that i have eaten the FUNK 6 times, and well they were not letting me up on it, i would have been ok if it had been one or two jokes but they took it overboard and wouldnt stop telling me how i was a horrible leader and that we were gonna eat the FUNK because i stink at life, (to summarize it for you). just being staight up disrespectful well today is day three of that camp, and yesterday was a lil better, i kinda snapped at them in a loving and authoritative way...my b. but it worked, we shall see how today goes, ill update you later. but ne who i was still a lil upset all day, i had gotten over most of it, but then our director, while we were praying for the camp before worship, he stopped us and said "i dont know why, but God is telling me to say a lil something to each of you" he then proceeded to go around the circle and say what he thought about us, just really encouraging time. and i dont know, God used that to lift my spirits, and i think im no longer mad at those boys for being jerk faces. and i just went out to roll call with my old self back, crazy and energetic and i may have scared my group a little, they were laughing at me thats for sure. but its something that they are all doin together as a team and im super excited for today actually, because even as im typing this and am able to process whats happened the last couple days through typing it out to you, God is showing me where he was in each moment of my last couple days and its makeing me really excited for what he has in store for today!
love you all, and thank you for keeping us in your prayers, i want you to know that you are all in my prayers as well! Idonesia peeps, let me know the updates, from fundraising and everything so i can know how to be praying for you. love you all!
peace and chicken grease!