And so begins my week.

Theres nothing like ignoring your problems to focus on someone elses to help you actually refocus on the Greatness of God through whatever you are going through.

haha, i just made no sense to anyone else but me. thats awesome!!!

Well, The week begins again. ready or not here i come! im off one day this week, which that very idea takes stress off me like NO JOKE! its great. sad that i miss three hours of work, but its truly a blessing in disguise.

On a happier note, i feel like a responsible adult, i got my oil changed and unclogged my sink this weekend (that was fun!). I can now add plumber to my resume.
and, supposedly my work forgot to pay me or never gave me one of my checks from back in December, so i got basically a double check this past pay period! i was psyched!! God is truly Jehovah Jirah, all the time! I have like 200-300 bucks left to pay for this term and car insurance for september and its like God was like "no worries becky, here you go. i got this taken care of!"
Its times like that that i KNOW that i KNOW that i KNOW that i am where i am because of the Lord, and not because of me. and that my friends is comforting.

side note.

let me preface this by saying, im not writing this for a pity, nor am i trying to pull a sympathy card, and im sorry if it seems as though im being negative or anything like that. I am writing this because i trust you. I am writing this because you are the support system that the Lord has blessed me with and i know you will pray for me if i ask this. I am just simply asking yall to pray for me right now.
I can't really explain what is going on in my heart right now, mostly cause im still trying to figure it out. but the Lord knows what it truly is. I feel depressed. my mind feels clouded. and i think im homesick.
Please dont worry about me. Please just pray for me. The absolute last thing i want to do is worry anyone. I will be fine. God will see me through it, as He has seen me through so much in my life.
I feel so ridiculous, and have been reluctant to write this for a bit. I wish i was stronger, i want to be stronger, I should be stronger, i have absolutly nothing to complain about or to cause me to be depressed, and im not completely sure that depressed is the correct term for this, its just heavy on my heart. I dont want to feel this way anymore. Ive taken and will continually take this to the Lord.
anywho.
love you all. Thank you.

STRETCH!!!

HAHA, I say that and it makes me laugh. STRETCH!!! it reminds me of aerobics class when the instructor goes "STRETCH! COME ON, just a little bit more!! You can do it!!"

why is this titled stretch. because i feel as though im stretching and being stretched. Not a bad thing, its how muscles grow and it will also be how i grow.
Be Flexible!
Be Flexible!
Be Flexible!
that is the 3 rules of ministry, and since your life is your ministry, then it is the 3 rules of life. (to an extent of course). if you are unable to follow my brain tangent here then just disreguard, im just trying to think things through.

For now, i feel as though im in a never ending aerobics class, and the instructor (God), is saying "Stretch!! Come on, just a little bit more, You can do it!!" and im still at the stage where im saying "Im stretching as much as i can! if i stretch anymore im going to break something".

ever feel that way?

Classes Begin

With 18 hours of class and 15-17 hours of work a week this is going to be a busy semester. There might be a chance that i will not be sane, but the Lord knows what is up and will see me through it.
As the first days have come and gone and I have been to all my classes and seen all the new syllabus, i must admit, i am in a state of Syllabus Shock. For those unaware of this disorder, or who have been out of school too long to remember the effects of such a disorder, allow me to explain.
Syllabus Shock is the dreaded disorder that comes on hard and fast upon the first day of class. As the professor hands you the syllabus and directs you through all that they anticipate for you to complete in the course, you may find yourself feeling dizzy and light headed. Some may say that it feels as if the world is on your shoulders and there is nothing to do about it, for you are unequipped to begin. An undescribable, and sometimes brief, state of cloudiness just kinda rests on you for a bit. The disorder, if not cared for properly, could cause serious mental problems, such as loss of sanity or the inabillity to think clearly. It usually lasts anywhere from 1 day- 2 weeks.
Well, having been hit with this 6 times in a row, i can now say that the panic is easing, the dizziness has subsided, and now, after taking the prescribed medication (organization), i am feeling much better about it all. Still remembering constantly to not think too much about it but to just take one step at a time. It will be brilliantly worked out by the Lord and im just gonna enjoy the ride. It shall be a fun one!

Move-In Day

wow it is 10:51pm.
this has been an insane day! good, but insane! it was the Main Movin day for all the new students. out of 54 girls in the two dorms we were helping, there are 34 new girls. Some had already come early and moved thier things in and were settled, still that was only 7-8 girls. SOO if you do the math, that meant that new students alone, we would move in somewhere around 26 new girls.
the day began with a nice wake up walk around the block with my RD Lo, haha i had blisters on my heals from a walk earlier this week and they were really painful so i decided to go barefoot the rest of the way, quickly reallized that the road was not smooth...but its ok.
when we got back to the dorm, we had just enough time to shower and get ready before the chaos would begin.
we had 2 girls move in around 8am. then from about 9:45-11:30 we had about 15 girls arrive. so imagine this, one hall, 15 girls, all thier stuff, all thier family; it was crazy. (Did i mention that my RD had to take a test during those 2 hours so i got a good dose of RDness in that 2 hours, which was awesome! If yall think about it, i dont know if it is truly 100% what has in mind, but i think it could be something in my future. To be the RD of a dorm. i dont know though, and its still too early maybe to think about it, i definitly dont want to approach them about it, i would like for them to approach me, just so that i know its not my will but God's will)
it calmed down some after that, we had a couple other girls come in after that, 2 in a different building, my old roomie was one of them. im quite excited about this semester, the girls all seem to be bonding well, and with the exception of a few minor bumps, i believe it was a rather smooth day. The Lord was awesome and held off the rain until all of the girls were moved in which is so awesome to, even in the small things, be able to see the hand of God in this.
on a slightly sad but still ok note, there was a FREE Steve Fee concert in Dothan tonight that some students were able to go to, I was kinda bummed to not get to go, but its totally kul. i got to bond with some newbies!

I love you all. you are awesome.

Prayer request: 34 new girls means 34 girls that are away from thier families perhaps for the first time ever. please pray for them as they adjust to college life. we have Orientation tomorrow(Thursday). its pretty awesome to be a part of all this from the other side of things this time around.
k im exhausted, gotta get up early. good night!

Monday-Day One of Crazy Move-in Week

7:30, i wake up, go for a walk.
had a fun visit to Ms. Rosie and Dr. Richard...(hahah)
Got ready for the day and headed off to talk to financial aid and the business office.
found out exactly what i had expected would happen, i got a $500/semester scholarship and some student loans, they dont cover everything, but they cover enough, and i know that the Lord provides all i need and grants peace when i am unsure of what the outcome will be. which is why i know that i can trust him for providing for school. He has called me here and is proving faithful to keep me here. I truly am undeserving of such an awesome blessing.
I have enough for this semester! (Thank you Lord! YOU ROCK!!)

so after i went to the bank, i got back and basically from there on it was nuts. though their was time here and there to relax, it was almost at constant motion.
with moving new girls in and trying to situate and help out and do random stuff and try to finish straightening up my stuff and yeah, it was crazy. it was great! i kinda got a dose of what it is like to be an Resident Director. Makes me glad that im just the Resident Assistant, cause i would so not be ready right now to be RD.
Our Dorm Council this semester is awesome! i love each of them! this past week just really helped us bond alot and unite in thought for the direction in which to lead the dorm. Just in case you are wondering what Dorm Council is, it is the Dorm Leadership. we lead prayer groups and plan dorm events and a bunch of other randomness. its great! One really awesome thing we got to do was last week we prayer walked the hall and prayed for each individual person that is moving in. we didnt realize it or plan it at the time, but we ended up praying for 2 hours straight!
THIS semester is off to a GREAT start! Please continue to pray for us this week, as we only moved like 6 ppl in today, that leaves around 20-30 more in Napier, 6 in the POD, and 6 in the southwest appartments. (oh yeah, surprise!! we are no longer JUST Napier, we are Napier, the POD and the Southwest appartments; that means about 60-65 girls that my fearless leader Lo*Lauren* is in charge of and i get to help her with!) its awesome!

ants

well, about a month ago my car stopped steering properly and it wasnt until this past week that i was able to get it fixed, long story short, an awesome man named Jim Miller towed my car to a shop in Samson where it got fixed. FYI, repairing power steering is pretty important, just in case you were wondering...
well i picked it up today, it had all my stuff for school in it so i was excited to get back here and get it unpacked.
On the way back to school from Samson however, my roommate was with me and was constantly swatting at ants, we could not find the source, they just kept coming, and coming and coming.
As we pulled in, my friends gladly crowded round the car ready to grab and move in my things in. this was halted when, as we began to take stuff out of my car we soon realized how big of an ant problem it was. my entire back of the car was completely covered with ants!!! ANTS everywhere!!!
to replay the scene to you would go something like this.
I removed my shoe and swatted at a few that were on a box, and as i remove the box from the car, I see the ant pile. scream, try to swatt as im yelling, (sorta making a scene...oops). realizing the swatting was not working well but only sending them through the air and everywhere i run inside to my room, grab my lysol it was the only thing i had) and ran back out and proceeded to spray the mess out of the ants. removing more and trying get them off of all my stuff, i just couldnt believe this, then i realized that the lysol wasnt really killing all of them so i swatted more....i found many momma ants amongst them...hundreds of ants...
it was crazy. it was ridiculous, as i continue to look through my stuff an unpack i keep finding more. and im like ahhh!!!

in the end, its funny to think back on the scene, just kinda, no bueno when it is your own stuff, and i really dont think itwould be cool to have my stuff infested with ants.

but no harm no foul. it is ok, just thought id share this lovely story with you.

...School is here.

I arrived here on Saturday. my room mate and another friend of mine arrived Sunday. we have been decorating Napier and getting stuff ready for the new semester. so much has changed here on campus, its good change, its just change, so adjusting is somewhat needed. if ya'll could pray for BCF and the faculty and staff this semester just with all the changes. pray specifically that people will NOT be negative, that negativity would not exist among this Body of Believers. truthfully, though change is frustrating, its good change. they built new dorms, rebuilt the inside of the student center, but just in case, lets illiminate negativity.
RAness is intimidating, sorta. again, its the need to take my mind and focus off of my inadequacy and place it on His sufficientcy.
For real though, I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS SEMESTER!!!!!

Summer is gone...

Back to school i go!
The summer was amazing! The Lord taught me a lot, stretched me a lot, and i know i keep saying this and not actually saying how what has gone on, but i will.
It seems as though the lesson that just sticks out so much is the realization of my inadequacy vs. Trusting Him in His sufficientcy. It just seems as though in everything i would do, say, or think, He would humble me. Having to fully rely on the Lord for EVERYTHING, like ive been able to, in the past, rely on him for material stuff like money or food, but that first week of camp, i just felt completely empty, spiritually and emotionally. i didnt know why the Lord would want to use me this summer, i did not really know why i was there.
Havingto rely on Him for absolutely everything, including for my brain to function and create thoughts and words that would make up the daily devotions at nights when i was just absolutely tired or annoyed...and also to comfort me when i was homesick, an emotion that i used to think i was immune too.
i mean, i may not be making much sense, but really, this summer God really brought me to realize how much i NEED to CONSTANTLY seek Him. to CONSTANTLY be sure that what i do, what i say, what i even Think, that everythink I do is in the direction of the Lord and not away from Him. He is in the small stuff as much as He is in the Big stuff and i will praise Him for that! I will praise Him that even when i am completely inadequate, drained, or whatever else, He is who i can look too. He is my strength, my refuge, my all!