A Moment Like Jonah

Today held a morning of Baptist College moments as I listened to our chapel service from my cozy library office in Virginia. As the sermon closed out and the radio returned to its normal playlist, images of R.G. Lee came to mind. A familiar scene I’ve seen repeated so often in the course of the past 5 years. And I wonder if anything has changed…

Having just been dismissed from Chapel, I can see the faces of those in my alma mater filing out the door. Most probably had their things gathered and ready to jump from their seats and exit as soon as the prayer was complete, (busy is the life of a college student, and after all- the cafeteria opens soon and class comes quickly afterward. There’s not time to stop, breathe, think). Some will most likely be lingering and gathered in clutters around the chapel, in the most inconvenient of positions, to socialize with friends or professors. A few may be lined up to greet Dr. Akin, shake his hand, say their “well to do’s,” network and be on their way. There will be a few, however, who remain in their seats: journaling, processing, thinking about and praying through and actually receiving the words they have just heard.

This select few have not only heard the words, but have been cut to the core by the Holy Spirit, moving and stirring in their hearts, challenging them because they HAVE been Jonah. They are Jonah. Or they desire so beyond measure to not be as Jonah. These contemplator’s hearts are full of compassion… or are being broken for their calloused hearts. It is a great temptation each of us may face to follow as the Lord leads, or run in the opposite direction. And, even if we do move in the direction God leads, each of us will have to actively choose contentment and joy. Each of us can be, have been, or will be Jonah. I know I’ve been opinionated and rebellious. I’ve deemed God’s plans illogical or impossible and have joined the cargo ships to Tarshish, only to find myself in the belly of a whale…

“You ought to not pray ‘shall I go’, instead your prayer should be ‘Why should I stay’” these words are ringing in the ears of our contemplators. I am no stranger to this contemplation. And, I know I am not alone in being faced with this challenge today. Dr. Akin presented the shift in prayer focus we each need. Each of us who have excused away our part in the Great Commission, simply for lack of clarity (as if it could be clearer than “go”) or the myriad of excuses we could and have made. I’d imagine their minds are replaying and shuffling through the reasons why they should or should not stay. Their hearts are wrestling. “Am I just comfortable?” “Have I made excuses?” I know mine has. In fact, it is a discipline of evaluation and reflection I have learned is necessary to employ in my life every couple weeks or months. “God, am I complacent in where I am? Have I calloused from your leading? Should I remain planted in this place, or is it time for a transplant? Am I thriving or just surviving?”

To those contemplators who wrestle through these things with the Lord, and take the time to sit and commune with the Lord, my heart is overjoyed! I pray they have run to their secret place, known only to the Lord and themselves. The place where they meet with Him and face each and every bit of the Spirit’s leading. No walls being thrown up, just a sledge hammer tearing down all their excuses and all of their desires, until they are left prostrate on the floor before the Lord, humbled and full of Eucharisteo (grace, joy, thanksgiving).

For as many times as I remember identifying with the contemplator who is more like the example above, I know there is a flip-side to the coin, and I know I can also identify with the contemplators who are more stubborn. A tragic situation will occur in some of our contemplative individuals. They have just encountered the Holy Spirit, and now they will decide to either lean in closer or build the callous of complacency around their hearts and shove these stirrings deep into their souls. They think it would be easier to ignore the pressing of the Spirit, save it for thought when they have more “time” to process everything. I pray they would realize now is the time to process, to pull away from distractions, to commune with the Father in prayer.  

For those of us who fall into the more stubborn category, it is discovered that the message has hit too close to home. Pride is preventing some to see they are “Jonah.” As Dr. Akin spoke of those stirred with anger for the way God has or is choosing to display His glory, that family member’s face flashed in their mind’s eye as Akin described the scenario of Jonah’s discontentment with God offering forgiveness. How ironic, how arrogant. We are the ones who have caused the great offense against our mighty God, and yet I know I’ve found myself getting angry upon seeing the Holy Spirit move and bring forgiveness and healing to those I’ve deemed unworthy of forgiveness. Completely forgetting that I  am the unworthy one. I damb myself in the same breath that I damb another when I choose to withhold the measure of grace Christ offered. And I know I’m not alone in this. There will be those who will have departed from Lee Chapel today, completely calloused to the Lord revealing this sin of their hearts. They will press it away and it will slowly erode their hearts and bring a great chasm in their hearts between them and the Lord. I pray they would not allow their pride to have a foothold in their hearts any longer. I pray for the pain that will continue to remain as the wounds they’ve inflicted continue to infect their lives, their families, their relationships, their ministry past, present, and future.

                I wish I could link the message to this blog, if for no other reason but so it is archived here as so often I love to reflect back through here and remember how the Lord has opened my own eyes to the remnants of pride eating at my heart, grieving my Jesus. Perhaps the scene I’ve described above is a far-cry from reality. But I don’t think it is. I don’t think it is beyond possibility because I remember being in those pews. I remember days of my arrogance and childish mind- completely missing the treasure of yielding to the Spirit. I remember the days when I sat with my journal and continued to write with fierce speed for fear my mind would forget how the Lord was teaching me…(only to look back later and need a translator for my chicken-scratch-chinese).  If I’ve matured at all, and I believe I have, in my days at BCF I know it came in large part from Chapel services (even if some days it seemed my skills of heresy detection were being sharpened…it’s a reality you will face wherever you are). I remember identifying with each of these types of people…even the ones who rushed for the door or cluttered in the isles.

                I pray that we would each be able to humbly approach the throne and ask as David did, that the Lord would: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24 ESV) Specifically, in connection with today’s challenge “Show me my Jonah ways, Lord! Break me of my pride, arrogance and selfishness. I REPENT and wish to turn from my wicked ways.”